marriage and communication, getting your relationship back

Today I was running errands while my husband of 10 yrs was at home with our kids and I started to think about how we wound up where we are right now. Trying to remember the 1st week of our relationship was very hard, not to mention the feelings that came with it. Now all we do is go to work, run the house and take care of our kids. Some where in the middle of that we lost our connection and became room mates. So how do you get back the relationship that started the whole thing? That is a big question. I have gone online, read and even asked other people their advice and it comes to this.

Communication is the number one thing you must have to get back to each other. This right here may take some time. Not only have you been married for a number of years, you have also grown apart. Some how you need to get back on the same road and the best way to do that is to communicate.

The next step is to take some time for the both of you. Do somethings together that you enjoy. Most likely your hobbies will have changed so this can be a new experience for the both of you. What do you do if you both like different things?
Take turns on your time together. Even if you really don't want to do it you need to try and at least give your partner the respect and understanding of learning or sharing their interests.

Don't dwell on the past.
I know that when things got started it was wonderful and exciting, but some how that went away. The reason for this is you have grown up and matured so the things that started it won't give you the same affect today as it did yesterday.

Start a new routine.
Share the responsibilities if possible. Nothing is more frustrating than working all day then coming home and you have more work in front of you. Give yourself some decompression time after work then start your time together. It doesn't have to be going out. Life does not allow us for fun all the time. My suggestion is do the responsibilities together, get it done faster so the two of you have more time for luxury tasks.

If you have a million things on your plate then stop for 1 minute and notice your partner. Give them a hug or kiss and ask how there day was. Tell them about yours. This way your communicating and still paying attention to their needs along with yours. This can be hard to do, I struggle with this one. It is so easy to just forget and keep going. Try your best to make it a habit, write it down until you have a routine with it.

Involve the kids.
Pick one day out of the week for a family night. Your choice on activities or you can alternate each week. Talk to your kids about how you met, the wedding or how you lived before they were born. The kids will love this and you will get to remember your special memories. Also if the kids are old enough inform them that you two will be taking 30 Min's each day to talk without interruptions from the kids. They need to learn along with the two of you that taking this time is very healthy for your relationship since it encourages communication.

The main thing to remember is you two have become distant so unless you want to stay that way you need to make time for each other. It is important to grow and better to grow together. It's never too late to start over no matter how long you have been married and running your own lives... If you still love each other and want to be happier then take the time to make it happen. I hope this has helped you. I plan on following my own advice and see what we can accomplish together.

There is no time frame for this only time spent together.